When Demon Child Become Human
␑| Cannot Release II

Cowering to the bed, I immerse myself under the blanket. I don't know why it ended like this ....

I feel fucked.

It was not long before someone entered the room I stopped by. Seconds then the dentum sol roars rhythmically with the speed of the steps. There was no sign of danger or gripping until I let him stand on the bedside.

It's a guy I know, Crist.

"Heem, it seems like things are getting heavy, huh? I saw Mr. Kaidan and Fate in a hurry."

No answer was heard.

A long breath of air, in line with the iron bench that was being dragged by force. Looks like Crist is sitting near me. "Eeem, I'm a little worried about you. Sparing is still going on. It may be Fate's turn to move forward, but .. I want to keep you company."

I still don't open my voice. Silence was accompanied, although not for long.

"Red, are you okay? Heemm, it seems like you have rested," murmured Crist, "maybe you need some time alone. But if you need help, you can call me."

The sound of an iron-ah bench, Crist seemed to stand up and wanted to leave the room. Quickly my hand reached out from inside the blanket; trying to grab and pull the edge of his shirt, I don't know which side I got.

"No. I'm not okay." My hand grips are tightened. "I need help, but .. don't know how."

Then there was a heavy pressure on the side of the bed, maybe he started sitting on the edge of the mattress.

"Ah, and this has nothing to do with Fate or Professor Kaidan, so. Just my head is messed up," I said flatly trying hard even though my heart was still upset, "here I am, too sorry for many things. I already know, but that .. that negative thought never got away from me."

"This place is God's world, everything is with His permission, maybe it's part of a test" Crist replied.

No, it's not like that. I shook my little.

"I'm too drowned and shackled by the past, I know my problems but can't handle them." I started to remove the link and let my left hand lie outside the blanket where I hid myself. "And ended up hurting the people around me. How do I handle that?"

"I let God handle it."

Hearing that my eyes opened wide. I slightly flicked the blanket over to peek at Crist. My heavy breath was so striking but when I saw him, his smile was so bright and sincere yet blue eyes stared out of nowhere.

"God says to entrust all things to Him and do not worry, God has taken care of everything for you."

Suddenly his face was on me, I was a little surprised but did not look away in the slightest. Our eyes are locked. "God taught me a very precious thing: no matter what happens, believe in Him."

"So, can I get through this?"

The intended one nodded with a sickle arch that did not fade in the least. I sighed and glanced at the white mattress.

"It's like .. Bad thoughts always strike when I feel down. It takes someone to wake me up before it's too late."

Otherwise, I might go back to madness and hurt others, more than I did to Professor Kaidan. Or maybe, really back to killing.

The sound of soft ruddiness spread out later. "Then continue to be with someone who can do this."

As soon as my gaze became soft, "Yes, Fate did it."

That incident ... of course you won't be able to realize that Fate didn't come and say it all. In fact, to the point of hurting my own master teacher. H-ah, I'm the worst. I closed my eyes again.

The head is still a little dizzy.

"Be strong for Fate too. He needs you, just as you need him."

I opened my eyes slowly with a whimper, "That's what I'm trying to do, but-ah, I don't want to burden her."

A faint sound of laughter sounded again. "Not trying to be perfect. It will only make you restless and anxious when pursuing perfection."

Pause for a moment, looks Crist began to lean on the head of the mattress. "Be yourself."

Now I clasped my left palm and brought it closer to my face. "But I'm weak."

What Dominguez said is very imprinted in the mind but true, I am weak; pathetic; lowly. That girl would probably be better off if not with me. Oh, Professor Kaidan too.

"Buddy, don't say that. You're powerful. Have you heard the term teaching?"

"Teaching?"

"What do you think your body is doing." Blue eyes begin to close with gently moving hands, helping to explain. "It all starts with the mind. If you think negative, the end result will be negative. But if you think positive, then the end result will be positive."

"Said, the future depends on those who BELIEVE in the beauty of their DREAMS. Believe me you will reach it, no matter how far and how difficult it is. The key is, believe that you are capable." He began to pull out his index finger and bring it closer to his firm lips. "Help yourself, and all things will end well."

I fell silent and looked into his eyes deeply.

"What a fool .. They once said such a thing to me, but I forgot about it." I clutched the mattress tight. "Why do I always forget what people tell me? Ugh, really stupid---"

"Ooops, don't jump to conclusions quickly." Crist cut me off immediately. "Let's say you forget about it, but never forget the people who are your strength. Words are easily forgotten, but the person behind the sentence is not. Don't call yourself a fool, you're someone who's trying to get better."

He turned back to me and smiled softly. "The best is coming soon, Red."

I mutely, with a confused look beginning to comb through every corner of the empty space for forcing my head to filter and swallow the words of Crist. Honestly, that line .. made me a little calm.

"Then it's time to get out of the habit. God says, Don't look down on you. I'll help you and give you everything you need'. And now, God gave you Fate. Wh why? Because he's the one you need so badly, to change you for the better."

Suddenly both my eyes blurred. That's a very simple sentence but .. means. I-I started to shut my mouth tight. Is that really so? Is this God's will too? I was thrown into this world, and so was Fate.

We met.

Actually spending time with him is so fun. I feel .. I am, not alone anymore. How he was always there when I needed him and reminded me. It should have been me who helped and helped her but it always ended up her reaching out to me.

Lucky that guy named Sen-no, maybe Sen is just as great as Fate. The two of them were very compatible together, somehow realizing this. I started to cover my face with one hand.

I'm nothing compared to Sen, I'm not as good as him. Yeah, better the girl be with him. And me, just being with Fate and being around him was enough. I'm very happy, even if for a while.

Ah, naw.

It may sound very selfish but I want more. I need affection, indeed I always deny it because when it comes. But I need warmth.

Like an opium, I got it from him. Warm. Just looking at it with a smile makes me calm and comfortable. But now he is gone - ah, if remembered, very tormenting inwardly.

That's why I chose to be alone. And keep it to yourself. But in the dark, always screaming for help.

Depressing.

"It seems I know why I became like this ..," I said stifled, clenched my hands and brought them closer to my face.

Starting to glance, Crist was silent but the face seemed to be waiting for an answer. I snorted and closed my eyes.

"I am so sorry for the past; really very, very sorry. I had lost everything back then, and could not stop looking back. I am sorry and hate, myself. This shackle is real and I can't be free of it. I wanted that time; that warm feeling, but why ...all end up in my hands?"

"Red, what happened in your past?"

I was a little surprised and looked back at Crist. The glasses youth looked at me deeply, his eyes sharpening. Even the unceasing bright smile she had faded into an expression I could not read.

But I did not give an answer. I don't know if I can tell it or not. I pulled the blanket and covered half my face.

"It's okay if you don't want a story." He chuckled again, his body that had stiffened again squeezed. "Want to hear a story?"

"What's that?"

Crist briefly fell silent and stared blankly out of nowhere before saying, "There was a young man, he was so miserable and found a dead end. His life goals have been shattered and he is desperate. Not having the spirit, the young man was depressed and in the end .. chose to end his life. He stabbed a knife into his stomach. Many times; many times, until it collapses and rests under the door."

Not further said, this young man fell silent by shutting his eyes tightly. Uh, what's going on? He soon took a long breath. "He thought he was dead. But when he opened his eyes, the knife was already smashed into pieces, the wounds on his body were also gone. Apparently, God didn't allow him to die first."

Now he looks at me with an indecipherable smile. "And that young man, it was me."

Instantly I glanced, surprised. "Why ... did you tell me?"

"Hemm, why ...," Crist folded both of his front chest hands with a slight tilt of his head. Like thinking. But ended up lifting both shoulders. "Don't know. Maybe, because I believe you, Red."

I was silent, those words made my whole body stiff with heat radiating all over the face. The heart also rattles because in the heart feels a-ah, what is this?

"Therefore I felt that I had a new duty, to help His servant. And when I saw you, I felt called. I really want to help you, Red. I really really want to help you."

His words were very warm, as well as his gentle accent like a thread of silk enveloping empty souls. My pelupuk was moist again, unable to hold back the tears that were ready to slide.

I got up a little, grabbed and pulled his shirt hard. A point of sentiment can no longer be contained. Crist looked surprised as his blue irises were wide open. Although these eyes were so glazed that the vision faded away, I said excitedly, "Crist is actually me--"

Suddenly the sound of cell phone ringing spread to all corners. Like a sign in itself, I took it off and began to re-clad the body with a blanket to hide well.

The sound was faint until the tone suddenly stopped. Before long, the sound of a breath that was so heavy airborne.

"Red, sorry, I have to go."

I was silent for a moment. Why does the heart feel ... pain? Maybe it's true, I'm afraid to be alone.

"Pulse. Thank you, Crist."

It felt like the young man was starting to get out of the bed making a silent air, maybe he went straight away.

However, suddenly Crist's voice sounded. "Not a problem, come to me if you need help."

I felt my head touched. Although it was wrapped in thick cloth, the caress was so comfortable.

"We're best friends, right?"

I can't believe someone thinks I'm a friend? No, more than that.

Friends ....

My reflexes pulled the blanket tightly to cover myself perfectly. Ha-ah, hot face because of a taste in the heart. The effect it has had is incredible. Something roiled inwardly, a sense of being touched; warm; even confusion chime in my consciousness, for the first time in life.

Ah, I started crying.