When Demon Child Become Human
␑| Cannot Release

When I opened my eyes, my breathing was still irregular and panting. Head aches, pain so much that you can't think.

It was so painful, it was nauseous; it broke out in cold sweat, trying to look around but my eyes trembled and ended up sweeping the room so quickly that I could not see myself.

The buzz in my head felt piercing so I closed both ears tightly. Rise up to sit but end up curling up in pain.

"Red, get up-ah, calm down son!"

Not answering, I just ended up groaning for no reason. Why am I here? Why feel it again? Is this a punishment for me? Haunted by guilt ..I at least consider this a punishment for my actions.

The future was shackled and I again spilled sorrow on the eyes. Regret showers the heart. I should have spent some time alone, alone again. Hiding and running behind shadows. Know my position and who I am .. a pathetic creature who deserves nothing.

Now my heart is pounding, so fast that it feels really painful in my chest even my voice broke into a terrible raucous. It felt like someone was trying to hold me firmly, incessantly peeling my head and stroking my back.. No, no! This reminds me of the one who died! I don't want to lose but he died in my own hands .. It hurts, pain-ah, I don't want to!

Still curled up in a groan, I rebelled, and even now my feet kicked without direction. Aaah, pain ... pain!

"Re-red, Red! Calm-akh, your strength is immense. It's okay, son, you're here."

Yes, different from me. Humans are so fragile. Even my heart had already changed shape; sharp, snatching away something precious to them.

To someone who doesn't deserve to be called a human like me, you smile. Even at times like that, giving different things to me. But it's over, you're gone and I'm still suffering. If a lie can reverse time .. but nothing will change, right? When I understood that sense, the desire to end again filled the heart.

Now I'm really not breathing, mouth agape trying to help pick up oxygen. My words began to pile up in my heart, endlessly, entangled in the ring of darkness. If I could draw tomorrow in an empty future ....

But behind these dark eyes, all have been abandoned. The warmth that I had always believed in was frozen. I know this is a punishment for me, after what I did. Depressing. My life is dead. Both hands have fallen. My body is still slouching and I am still sitting.

I feel like I want to end it all.

I'mtired.

"Red ...? Feel better already? Um, want a drink?"

I turned my head, the middle-aged man was still sitting on the bench beside my bed, saying nervously and hesitantly even his expression added to the impression.

"Why are you here?" I said coldly, back to face.

A faint laugh sounded. "What do you mean, son? Mr. Walimu, of course you are here."

He remained silent for a moment, then he again said, "Father is worried about you."

"Go!" I growled, firmly clenching both hands over the thighs. "I didn't ask you to accompany me."

"What do you mean, Red? Gaff-"

"Stop touching me!"

The burly hand tried to get back closer but I was firm. "I don't need to worry! I don't need all your kindness! I never asked to be treated like that! I don't deserve any of that, you know?! I'm always alone and better always be alone!"

His face turned startled but my heart grew hotter, it reached the face and provoked the tear glands back to spit out tirta. "I don't understand a single thing about love. Every time I get a favor, it's all just a lie. A lie! It will disappear and fade. You know what it's like to lose? Pain many times over!"

I started screaming, "Better I don't understand what it's like to get affection! The good that comes to me will eventually only be destroyed in my own grasp! Enough already! I don't want more sins!!"

Now it felt sobbing and the neck choked, but I kept forcing to say despite the screeching ending. "I don't want anything, I don't need .. haa-ah, ah, why was I born into the world? My existence has no cause except to destroy."

"Red, don't say that, every human being deserves-"

He wanted to grab me again but I pushed him to the floor, until a tiny iron bench slammed in. "I told you not to touch me!"

As much as I could, I shouted towards him. "I don't need you! A human? Stop worrying about killing machines like me! My existence is only for destruction, you know what it's like?!"

Buk up!

The sound of pain rang out, Fate pounded my cheek until the pain flowed all over. The girl stared expressionlessly, gripped the collar of my black shirt and pulled it hard to get closer. Clear clumps lodged in her pelupuk, half-deadly looking withstanding the tears that urged to be launched and I just fell silent.

I don't know why, I suddenly couldn't think.

"You say that! But all you do is complain and whine! Want to pay for sins?! No kidding! All you're doing is adding more sin than making it up to you!"

Fate started yelling nonstop, right in front of my face.

"Basic is not grateful! You don't know the slightest pain of the people you left behind, and you want to go back into lock-up? Want to sacrifice yourself?! You just want to fulfill your own selfishness!"

The face began to turn red. Ah, what's going on?

"Those who have been by your side. Those who want to protect you. With this kind of thinking you just make everyone carry a very heavy burden!"

"You're just a fool who wants death! How many ... how many hearts have you broken? They took everything for you, so they wouldn't lose you who doesn't even care about yourself!" Fate unceasingly gave a demand for words, making my head even more heated.

I don't like this.

"That's enough, loose---"

When I rebelled and tried to remove the link from my collar, he made it stronger and more attractive to me. It felt like all the power in the coals was piled up there.

"I'm not finished! Hurting yourself and others, do you want to live like that?! It's not just YOU who were born into a crushing machine!"

My reflexes narrowed with a burning heart. As much as I could, I pushed him to a standstill and shouted, "Whisper! What do you know about me?!"

As soon as the taut fingers clasped my collar, it became stronger as all the emotions focused on the knuckle. "Really! I don't know everything about you! But just like you, what do you know about other people and me?!"

Hearing that my eyelids instantly rolled up.

Know what I am? ... There aren't.

"Generating and competing strong like a character filled with tragedy. How you, you think you're so special that you think God gives you trials just for you?! Everyone has their own burdens and tragedies! They each have their own stories! It's not just you who's suffering!"

Suddenly I was directed to look to the side. Professor Kaidan ... crying? It seemed like he noticed my gaze and he immediately got up and stepped outside. Looks like ... calling? But clearly his voice was still raucous even from behind here his back shook. He was constantly rubbing his eyes with his sleeves, turning around and drowning in the hospital hallway.

Instantly my body was pushed and ended up lying on the mattress in a confused state. I glanced at Fate, and I saw tirta slowly coming down from his bluish silver eyes.

"You said you knew what Mr. Kaidan was about to lose? You forgot it seemed, that with his own hands he killed the people he loved."

Suddenly I was stunned, this opened my mind. At that time while cleaning the library balcony, he hugged me and said that I reminded Professor Kaidan of himself. He was a country boy, the only one with a dragonic and ended up losing everything; out of control because he could not control the power.

Instantly I was silent, finished thinking and talking. Then he asked me... What is he, looking like a monster now?

Isn't that all he said, for me?

Fate turned around so that he turned his back on me, "But he did not run away, he faced his sin and tried to stay alive by bearing the deaths of loved ones on his shoulders. That is what can be called penance."

Why did I forget ... at everyone's words? Ah, I'm the worst. Now my hand is firmly gripping the shirt that wrapped his chest. The pain immeasurably struck the heart like a knife slicing through little by little.

The bluish silver eyes glanced sharply at me without the slightest bit of turning around. "While you are, all you do is run from your responsibilities."

That was his last remark, before Fate completely left the space.