Just a little break
Story of Baim (Part 3)

DO’A BAIM

With time passing. Tonight is over. Change the morning dawn. In his heart Baim always asked how quickly the night changed. Everything he dreamed of, disappeared the moment he woke up.

That fragrant smell, that cheerful behavior everything he did was liked by Baim. Remembering him made Baim remember something he had lost. The days felt that Baim was living alone. There's nothing. Except for the rain that morning.

I don't know when Baim started hating the rain, he didn't know. Only one thing he knows if the rain and the night only reminds him of the pieces of memories he wants to forget. Crying in every second of that madness and sweet memories. Baim felt without him, day and night felt the same. Just the quiet he felt.

Many wise people say that you miss someone you care about. You just close your eyes, and the person you love will be by your side. Baim once practiced it, but what seemed to be even a picture of the torment of the grave. It has been exactly two months since Nabila's departure.

Yes, Nabila left Baim because she got a better place to work than just in that office. A workplace that dares to pay Nabila with a larger salary and there is certainty for the appointment of its permanent employees. That was not the only thing that made Baim feel sad and devastated.

Not long after joining the new office. If it becomes difficult to contact, reply bbm was not just sober again the range is not minutes let alone hours but days. At first Baim thought that if Nabila needed more attention from him, then Baim ventured to his home.

When we arrived at Nabila's house. Baim felt as if the sky was collapsing. Many cars around his house, people who dress neatly and carry various goods and fruits like offerings. Baim asked the person guarding the parking lot, “Kang excuse me,” asked Baim.

“Iyaa what's wrong?” said Kang Parking.

“At that house again there is a show what?” ask Baim.

While pointing towards Nabila's house, which was crowded at that time. The women dress up pretty, and the men are very neat.

“Ouww, it's another Mas application event," cried Kang Parking.

Baim was shocked. It turned out that Nabila was officially proposed by his Manager who was only four years older than him. Baim did not believe what he witnessed, his mind was as chaotic as even he had time to stick the writing on his back with the words banged.

He immediately turned to his house locking the door in the room and started talking to the wall. Whyaa? whyaa? whyaa? When the bath was heard sobbing and again the words, whyaaa? whyaa? whyaa?

His parents could only look at each other to hear what Baim said. His frightened mother asked her father, afraid that there was anything with her son. But with his father only said, “That's the effect of the hormones of youth.”

His feelings and thoughts had begun to return. He dared to call Nabila. The pleasantries ask the news, then immediately ask what the meaning of their relationship so far and pretend nothing happened today.

In the middle of the night, Nabila invited Baim to meet at a restaurant near his home. Baim looked at his wallet, this is the end of the month, the money supply has begun to thin, because to buy pulses and small gifts for Nabila. But still he went to the restaurant to get certainty and clarity from their relationship and what true event proposal he saw was for Nabila.

He did not use a motorbike because it was being borrowed by his brother, riding the same angkot busway afraid of traffic jams and late. Finally with the money that is mediocre Baim take a taxi from Grogol to Pondok Gede. Baim agreed to the invitation and rushed straight to the restaurant.

Until there Nabila was waiting at the table which position was a bit corner in the room of this restaurant. Baim immediately sat down as he looked at Nabila who was smiling sweetly in front of him. Smiling looking at me, pondering through you, the Peterpan song titled behind me that was coincidentally playing was perfectly suited to describe Baim's current feelings.

Baim actually wanted to go straight to the subject. But Nabila asked him spoiled for Baim to order food as well, as he had also just ordered food. Not because of money problems. Baim does not want to order food because let alone to eat, at a time like this, to breathe Baim already badmood.

But Baim could not be horrified at least the whimper of Nabila, finally he also ordered food. He ordered the crooked ribs and orange juice. While waiting for food to arrive, Nabila told a proud story about the state of his office. Baim could only listen without daring to cut the conversation.

For Baim it took courage to ask that question. Finally, with the courage that had begun to gather, Baim began to ask about the meaning of his relationship so far. Nabila with a sweet smile replied, “We are just temen.”

Baim lowered his head and shook his head, holding back his anger and sadness. If he were Hulk or Thor. Hearing this remark he would definitely get angry immediately and tear apart the restaurants and even the entire city. Then it takes several companies of joint forces between the TNI and the Police and some brave dead forces from Russia and Bosnia to calm him again.

Unfortunately, Baim is only an ordinary human who can only accept this bad luck according to his perception. Baim stared at Nabila sharply as if he wanted to spill all the uneg-uneg inside him. As soon as he was ready, and it turned out that the food pesenan came.

The waiter carefully and kindly placed orders and orders from them. When finished, then split. Without plain behavior and like nothing happened, Nabila started one of his habits. That is to taste Baim food before tasting the food and admit that what Baim ordered was delicious. While Baim, really do not understand what is on Nabila's mind.

“So all this time we just temen?” ask Baim at the end.

Nabila who was cool eating Baim food stopped. Then looked at him seriously and nodded his head. Baim who looked at it more sad and wondered, “Then what does our relationship mean?” ask Baim again

Nabila could only be silent and bowed without a sound, which was heard only in his breath.

“We often go out at night together, walk together, watch together, hold hands and almost kiss at the karaoke place. All that just friends?” ask Baim again adding.

Nabila slowly began to dare to look at Baim and say low, “Ya, we are often like that, but every waking up in the morning. I never felt sure about you. Whether you are a true match for a while or forever," said Nabila.

“Hurt yes ..” Baim tried to talk back.

“If it turns out all this time you only do what you want,” said Baim.

“Not to be sad like that. You're a nice guy, funny and smart. Someday you will definitely be able to get a soul mate that deserves you.” Nabila looked at Baim with pity.

“And how painful ..” said Baim continued with increasingly flushed eyes.

“How painful it is if someone you believe in, is not sure of you and instead chooses his life with others.”

Nabila clasped Baim's hand and said, “There is no need to be sad like that. We are still friends, and even you are not just friends, but my best friend.”

Baim ignored Nabila's words. He can only stand. He took money from his wallet and put two hundred thousand dollars on the table, and left it.

Nabila could only scream calling his name. Now it is revealed all why Nabila is very fast changing and the reason why Baim's heart aches in the last three days. That is because Baim loved Nabila at the first time to see him, while Nabila did not put any heart on Baim.

When I left the restaurant, the whole love story ended. Regardless of this hand. Pupus has this story. When someone has you, I lose my sense of self. When you're angry when you're sad, I give you all my happiness and smiles.

Because in your sweet smile. I found tranquility. Baim did not know why his heart was beating. Baim also did not know why his tears were spilled, all Baim felt was that Baim had lost half of himself.

Baim returned home in a taxi. But only half the journey of the taxi argo has been more than fifty thousand. Baim's money ran out, he forgot to bring an ATM card thankfully he still had a busway ticket as he remembered there was still left around for two trips.

He got off at the Garur area, to continue on the busway. But before that he looked at the big mosque around the shelter and remembered if he had not prayed Isha. Baim approached the house of Allah by mentioning the name of his lover, Muhammad SAW.

His tired body thrashed asking to be strengthened. Baim threw himself on the terrace of the Mosque, took off his shoes, and put them on the central shelf of the terrace of the Mosque. Then, he went to the ablution, either conscious or unconscious he began to say in his heart, "My Lord, why is love so difficult?"

Before entering the Mosque, Baim saw the beautiful full moon tonight. Reminds him of his time with Nabila. Now Baim was accompanied only by the full moon whose light reached the courtyard of his heart. After ablution he entered the mosque, the mosque space that was empty, understood because it was almost ten o'clock at night.

The body can only be broken. Without daring to look at the beautiful calligraphy inscribed with the lafadz of God before him. Again in his heart he said, "My Lord, why is love so difficult?"

The tired body collapsed before he stood up for prayer. In his shadow he sees if. That man will hold her hand, walk with her, dance with her, laugh with her and be in love with her.

While Baim can only still be happy when wa or text is only read by Nabila. Baim felt aware that he was the wrong person for being among them. Before his heart was completely broken he chose to step aside. But it was too late, Baim was too deep in love with her, to feel unable to live without her.

While she was, by the time she truly loved the man, she would have forgotten about Baim. Because he never really loved Baim. Baim really doesn't know what a woman wants.

Baim also confused to complain to whom if not to his God. Baim rose up, he stood right behind the priest, strengthening his heart and intending to pray Isha. In his mind for a moment remembered the big plans he had designed with Nabila.

Married, had children, raised her with religious guidance and love. That's ideals. Baim read al-Fatihah's letter very solemnly, followed by An-Nur's letter verse 26 which contains meaning.

Vile women are for vile men, and vile men are for vile women (after all), and good women are for good men and good men are for good women (after all).

In rakaat both lips tremble Baim read the letter Adh-Dhuha, which means content can calm Baim. That God would not abandon him nor hate him and that God found him confused and guided him. Finished Baim prayer was no longer able to withstand the rumble that was on his chest, he spilled all the complaints and do’a.

"I'm so confused, God, I must have made a mistake. That's what keeps you from listening to me. Please tell me your way, show me the way. Please."

"I have asked and pleaded with You. Wishing you would fix me for him.  I've been prostrating. I have been anointed. I have routinely performed the dhuha prayer continued by reading the letters of Ar-Rahman and Al-Waqiah."

"However, I do not understand what love is, I am only the love of the people. Your various religious leaders say different things to each other. Some say if the soul mate should be pursued, some say also do not need to be pursued later come alone."

"Someone said fix yourself enough.  Some say they should also be sought.  Some say it's important to pray.  Yet there are many who only intend for money, lust and office, but can have love and marry."

"What is wrong and what is right, O Allah. I don't get it. Please hear, O God, I need Your answers and help. Aren't you the God of the universe and the God of those who need help. I am in despair and despair, O Allah. Help me, O Allah," said Baim.

"Please. Whatever you ask me to do. Just give me my wish. Please. Say something. Show me something, not with all this silence and loneliness."