Hate You, Love You
Is It Not Shame ?

"I did make the biggest mistake of my life to you, Amara. And I'm very, very sorry for hurting you. If time could be turned back, I would rather be unconscious on the streets than have to go home and mengg*samu. I'm so sorry for ruining a girl as good as you. As much as I give you won't get you back to how you were. That's why you are so precious in my eyes," Gio explained with regret. He shifted his seat to the edge of the bed so that he could look at Amara even closer.

"I'm precious in your eyes because I'm pregnant with your son, Gio," said Amara with a look of cynical and cold eyes. He felt that what Gio said was only to comfort himself.

Gio sighed deeply, "if you weren't even pregnant, I would still marry you Amara. And if you want, you can throw me in jail. I'd be calmer if you did that because I deserve it,"

Amara fell silent, all she did was look at Gio with emotions that had not yet subsided. His breath is hunting and short. Amara really wanted to explode with anger at the man who is now her husband. But, he could not do that because he did not want to make a commotion that could panic many people.

Gio understood the look his wife gave him. Amara still looked at him with a stifled anger. "If you want, you can report me to the police right now. I will not run or dodge. I will confess all my evil deeds to you. I also promise not to use my family's power to escape this matter" Gio resigned.

"Hu'um and it will further corner me ! I will be blamed for making the good of you in their eyes languish in prison. I will be branded as a woman who has no feelings" said Amara fiercely.

"Everyone told me that I should forgive you and accept my destiny. Everyone says you're a good man who regrets what he did. Have they ever asked me how I felt ? Do they want to understand just a little, how do I break ? No !! No, Gio, no !!! They only sympathize with you who so deeply regret all !!" Amara stood up and walked towards the bathroom and locked herself inside. He cried bitterly because in the end Amara could bring out what he had been harboring.

He remembers how his father, mother, and aunt persuaded Amara to accept Gio's proposal and learn to accept his destiny. But no one asked her what Amara felt or what Amara really wanted. They are only fascinated by Gio's tireless persistence to account for his deeds. And that made Amara hate him even more.

Gio sat down with his head bowed lethargic. Never once did he intend to corner Amara. And his intention to take responsibility did come from his heart.

If only Amara knew how Gio thought about Amara despite his name alone. The name that Gio found on the carpet of his room, because from that day Amara had entered into Gio's mind and never wanted to leave.

And since first meeting Amara for the first time, Gio feels the inner upheaval that is becoming more and more. Gio wanted to be responsible to Amara for the rest of his life. Would Amara have branded him insane if Gio admitted that he had 'more' feelings for his wife since the fateful incident ?

Too late in his mind makes Gio unconscious if Amara has returned from the bathroom. The bed that Gio was sitting on felt bumpy as Amara climbed on top of it and laid her body while looking back at her husband.

Gio tatapi skinny and frail body with a sense of unworthiness. Again Gio took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

Slowly, Gio laid his body next to Amara. The girl's bed suddenly felt full because Gio was there.

"Mara... Ii'm sorry... Forgive all my mistakes," said Gio softly and full of regret.

Amara's not budging. He did not accept Gio's apology nor debate his words. Amara also did not dare to turn her body and look at Gio. Because even though it's their bridal night, there's no way Amara would want to do that 'thing' with Gio. The trauma has not gone away and he does not love Gio.

Feeling unresponsive, Gio gave up. "Sleep, you must be tired" Gio said slowly.

"And fear not, for I will not ask for my rights as husband" continued Gio before he turned his body and turned his back on Amara.

The first night both passed with a fierce debate and sleep on their backs. This is the worst wedding night ever.

***

"Hoek.hoek..," Gio awakens upon hearing voices from inside the bathroom. He slowly sat his body on the edge of the bed. He was a little surprised to wake up in a strange place, and a few seconds later, Gio remembered that he had just married the girl who had always been in his mind, Amara. Gio rubbed his eyes, to remove the drowsiness from his eyes. Then he stood up and walked towards the sound.

Gio was surprised to see Amara crouching with his head bowed to the toilet seat. His long hair dangled a heavy yak.

Amara who was shocked turned her head and looked at Gio. "Go ! This is very disgusting" he told Gio.

Gio shook his head, refusing his wife's orders. "I'll stay here and keep you company" Gio replied, giving Amara some tissue. I want to feel like he wiped the tip of Amara's lips a little wet. But, Gio did not dare to do that for fear Amara became angry with him.

Amara wanted to drive Gio away, but her stomach churned again and wanted to take out the contents that were just that water. And as long as it happened Gio kept her company by giving a gentle massage on the nape of Amara.

After Amara felt satisfied spewing liquid from her mouth. He got up and was swept away by Gio, back into their room.

"Wait a minute" Gio said as he walked out of the room and came back for a short time with a glass of warm water in his hand. "Drink first" Gio and Amara said.

"Would I get you a balm or something that makes you feel warmer ?" Gio asked, but Amara shook her head slowly in response. Drinking warm water makes it much better.

Gio looked at his wife's heart. Amara must have suffered like this every morning, and there was no one to help her because she hid her pregnancy. No wonder Amara felt so hateful to her because Gio had indeed made her very troubled.

"Let's lay down your body again and rest" said Gio but once again Amara shook his head.

"I want to take a shower and leave" replied Amara, giving her husband an empty glass.

Gio furrowed his brows not understanding. Gone ? Where's Amara going ? This is the second day of their marriage. Even Gio took time off from his place of work. "Where are you going ? I'm with ya?" Ask Gio.

"I'm going to college. I've missed a lot and you can't come ! What will my friends say ? They must be amazed to see you with me,"

"Tell them if we're married" Gio replied.

" What ? Aren't you ashamed to admit this marriage ?" Amara asked with a frown.

"No... I'm not ashamed of our marriage,"

"But I am !" Amara replied as she stood up and grabbed her towel draped on the shelf. Then he went into the bathroom to clean himself up.

Patience again...

Please be patient, everyone...

From the title already read one hate, the other love 😁

Like and comment a lot yaa let me the spirit of writing.

Love you genks

seriate...