The Bujang Lapuk
Fail

"Where?"

Instead of answering, Za cried towards Fadhil. Her hand was holding a pregnancy test. Twice he tried insemination, twice he failed. It was hard to show Fadhil the test results. Although he would definitely know Fadhil's reaction would definitely not show disappointment. But she was able to take a deep root in her husband's heart. Especially what is expected by married men with economic stability. Of course, the presence of children as successors.

"Fear again," said Za lirih. "Maybe I really can't get pregnant."

Fadhil rubbed the one leaning against his chest. After learning of Za's condition, he had to suppress his will. Because I don't want to burden the wife's mind. It will end up blaming itself. Enough for him to age with Za. There is Alif. Although it wasn't his flesh and blood, it didn't matter to him. Maybe it was the baby God sent to fill the emptiness they felt. Present at the right time even Alif will only know himself and Za as his parents.

"Ma.mma.ma!" alif's voice sitting on the bed called out. The baby raised his body while extending his hand.

"What, Honey?" sahut Fadhil's.

"Za, Al's jealous. Ask to carry her."

Za also released himself. Approaching the bed and laying down. As if nothing had happened, she lifted up Alif's body and made the seven-month-old baby laugh. A laugh that instantly erased his sadness.

Za wanted to give up, because maybe only Alif would be her son. But that fear somehow always undermines him. Fadhil is terrified that she will eventually find another woman to give birth to her child.

"We're grateful to have Alif, Za. Many other couples are getting older without having children and they are fine. They can be happy even if they are alone. Why don't we try to copy them?" fadhil said he saw Za back in silence with a blank look.

"I'm scared" murmured Za.

"Fear why?"

"Fear that you suddenly change your mind and secretly look for another woman who can fulfill your wishes."

Fadhil chuckles softly. "That never crossed my mind at all. Didn't Mas say, whatever you are, Mas ridho. We've been married for over a year, you can't believe it completely. Is your husband so dubious, Za?"

Za speechless. Because his fear was unfounded. Guilt and insecurity made him feel that way.

Fadhil never asked her to do insemination. All his pure desires. Even Fadhil once advised that whatever the outcome, he should not be disappointed. But Za still forced to re-do it after the first attempt failed.

"Already, yeah. I don't want to talk about this issue constantly. Don't feel inferior. We are just human beings who have no shortage. Maybe this is one of our household exams we have to go through." Fadhil rubbed the clear spot that began to gather at the corner of Za's eyes.

"There are many things to be grateful for, Za. Instead of lamenting what we haven't got."

Za breathed deeply. Fadhil, why does every word always make him calm. It was like duplicating his father.

"We take Al for a walk, yuk!" cetus Fadhil suddenly.

"Libur nyenengin son wife first. Let's get better at it."

Za smiled widely and guaranteed her husband's prayer. Za never knew how much he earned from Fadhil's business. Never asked exactly. But in recent months, his desire to buy land and make a boarding house has been granted.10 VIP boarding rooms whose rent prices are quite draining pockets because of its location in a strategic place. And Fadhil made a letter on his behalf. Even the new house which only occupied a few days was the ownership letter in the name of Za. The reason really made Za moved even sad. If Fadhil dies first, Za doesn't have to bother taking care of him.

"Let's get ready!" fadhil said later. Of course prepare the most equipment Alif.

"Where are you going? ask Za.

"Where do you want to go? The mall? The beach?" Fadhil seemed to think for a moment. "To the zoo want to?"

"Animal garden? Why?"

"Ngajak Alif streets. Let the outside world besides the same house mall," said Fadhil. Because for seven months of age, that's the place Alif had visited.

Za finally agreed. That place was probably the last he visited when he was in elementary school. His parents occasionally bring him there. Vacations are close and do not cost much. Because it is only located on the edge of the city.

One Alif bag is filled with baby gear. Za carried Alif down because his bag had been carried by Fadhil.

Alif looks very happy if invited to travel. One of the new habits that Fadhil taught, taking the baby around the complex every time he would go to work. So that when it's too late, Alif will definitely whine.

"Kok through here, Mas?" asked Za when she realized that the road she was walking on was not the direction to go to the zoo. Except to the south.

"You're going to the zoo, right?" ask Za again because Fadhil is just a smile.

"Yes. The zoo in Jogja."

"Well?!" Za sloughed. "You…. Why didn't you tell me that you went to Jogja?" he was upset that he had not brought preparations for the long journey.

"Important preparation pumya Al already exists. We are easy, Za," said Fadhil casually.

"But it takes a little, Mas. I thought we were home again."

"No. We'll stay there."

Za was surprised. Fadhil always makes sudden, surprising plans.