The Bujang Lapuk
Reality Painful

Za sat down in one of the chairs in the hospital lobby. In his hand was still clutched a white envelope containing the results of the examination he did without anyone's knowledge.

And the bad reality must be accepted. The obstacle was in him. Makes him feel more guilty. He could not imagine how disappointed Fadhil would be when he finally knew the facts

Za shrunk her tears with a piece of tissue. Put the paper in his hand into the bag. Because the taxi has arrived.

Along the way, those clear spots slid out. Za has no power to contain it. He did not care about the driver's gaze from the rearview mirror who looked at him questioningly. But the middle-aged man's lips remained silent.

Even until he reached the front of the house and the taxi had stopped, his cries seemed reluctant to stop. Although the taxi had stopped for a while, Za still stayed inside. The taxi driver let him go until Za was ready to get off.

His parents' home was his goal to go home. Seeing the face of her mother who welcomed with a warm smile, Za could not resist the water that forced her to come out.

"Loh, loh! What's up, Nduk?"

As hard as he tried to hide his sadness, in fact still failed. Mother, the person who had been the place to complain even though sometimes Za felt annoyed if her mother was nagging. But Mother is also the place to spill her tears when sadness hurts her.

"Wis, let's go in first!" Ra guiding Za into the house.

Moments later, only tears spilled down the negligee her mother was wearing. Makes the mother more anxious about Za's situation.

"You fought with your husband?" ask Ms. Rahma carefully.

Za shook her head in her mother's arms.

"Then why? Tell me about Mom. Is there a problem like this?"

"Sorry Za, Mom. Za sinned so much with Mother that Za was punished like this!" Za's crying was breaking.

"Already, Already. I don't understand you any more. Punished who?" mama asked Rahma to worry more.

Za didn't say. Only a sound could be heard in the room. Ms. Rahma let her daughter shed tears. Until the sound of the sound sounded slow. And Za separated from her mother.

"Now tell Mom what happened."

Za speechless. She hesitates to reveal everything to her mother. Due to the fact that she would have difficulty getting pregnant would definitely not only disappoint her husband. But also his mother and maybe his father. His mother is like Fadhil. I hope Za has a child soon. Although he will soon get a grandson from Bian.

Za doesn't know how to start. Staring at his mother's face made him even more vulnerable.

"Why?" ask her mother slowly.

"Za.." Zahidah's cries broke again.

Ms. Rahma was further confused by her daughter's attitude. During this time, Za was indeed not good at hiding problems. Especially for both parents. Even though he tried to hold it himself, his attitude would be obvious or even end up in pain if he had a lot of thoughts.

"If you don't want to tell a story now, that's okay. Later if you are ready," said Za's mother.

It feels unbearable to have to bear the burden of his grief alone. Sharing with her husband, Za is not ready to face Fadhil in disappointment.

He reached into his bag and picked up a white envelope that read from a hospital.

"What's this?" mama Rahma asked with a frown on her forehead.

The woman slowly opened the envelope in her hand. Za braced her heart to see her mother's reaction after opening her examination.

"Astgahfirullahal'adzim," said the woman.

His face changed. Staring at Za with a look of pity.

Za cried again to her mother. With a word of forgiveness that he said many times.

"Already, already. No woman wants this situation. You are chosen to be a strong woman who will be able to face this test."

"But what about Mas Fadhil, ma'am." Zahidah is back.

"Mother must promise, please don't tell Mas Fadhil. Yes, Ma?" continued.

"How is it possible? Fadhil is your husband. Whatever happens, he must know."

"But Za couldn't bear to see him disappointed. Za fear…"

"Don't be too prejudiced, huh? I'm sure he's sincere with you."

Za knows that. Fadhil is so sincere. But if Fadhil knew Za was not perfect, it was possible that his sincerity would not diminish. Za knew how much Fadhil wanted to have children. Although her speech sounded soothing to Za, the man secretly sought information about the issue of pregnancy. As Za had known at the time.

"Don't keep it to yourself. Talk to your husband. So that you can find solutions together. It is not good for husband and wife to cover each other's problems. Especially very important mass like this," said Bu Rahma.

"Mommy's sorry, if you've been demanding that you have a baby." Ms. Rahma rubbed Za's cheek which could be with her thumb.

"Everything happens outside our will. Be sad but don't drag on. No test is beyond our ability."

Za nodded slowly. A little relieved when he could share the burden with his mother. Za knew her mother was just as devastated. Only, at this time his mother was more able to control herself. Although Za knew her mind was so sore. While he could not bear to keep the burden alone.

Za hugged her mother again. I don't know what else to say. Besides thank you for the always warm and soothing embrace.

"You haven't eaten yet" guessed Rahma. Because he knows very well the character of his son who will forget to fill the stomach if he is having problems. Especially that heavy problem.

"Let's eat first. You'll be sick again."

"Later on, Mom. Za's not hungry yet."

"Yes, he will not be hungry. Because you feel full about your problem. Sadness is natural, Za. But don't neglect your health."

Ms. Rahma came out of her daughter's room and came back a while later carrying a plate filled with food. As usual, Rahma will feed Za if she is lazy to eat. Although it was only a little, it was better than no food coming in at all.

"I'm sorry that Za also let Mom down?" za said after reluctantly accepting a rice feed from her mother.

Madam Rahma let out a long breath. "You're mom's daughter. Your pain is Mother's pain too. But who can defy the will of the Powerful One, Za. I just hope, you can also be pleased with what happened to you. Don't break up praying. Nothing is impossible if God wills. Even though it may be impossible for humans."

Za nodded slowly. Justifying his mother's words. Although the possibility was very small for him, it was very small.