The Midnight Radio
Episode 41

"Here" called Bang Win patting the side of the empty carpet next to him. I went up to him and gave him a plate of corn, sausages, and roasted chicken. After the prayer, all gathered in the park by rolling out plastic carpets and baking some food that has been purchased for dinner.

It also looks like there are other broadcasters who play the guitar so that it makes the atmosphere warm. Unfortunately, in this fun time, Adul is still asleep in the room after disguising himself as a carpet.

I was still staring at Bang Win occasionally due to his words this afternoon so that he eventually realized it.

"You can ask anything, if there's anything you want to ask, Oxu," he said, staring at me.

I flinched for a moment, but curiosity made me ventured. "Bang Win ever tried to make ma*ti?"

"Earlier. Not once twice, but often. To the extent that every morning I wake up, I always think, what else should I do today in order to get out of this world as soon as possible," he replied slowly.

"But?" cut me quick.

"But what happened made my problem even more. I was labelled as an attention-seeking handyman" he replied.

"Who's the guy?"

"family."

"more specifically?" I'll do it again while biting the corn.

"Old people and big families."

"What's up to ma*ti?"

For a moment, Bang Win took a deep breath. "Do you know that my parents are divorced?" tanyakanya.

I'm nodding.

"Unfortunately their divorce was not done well. At first I was aware of the situation at home when I was in Junior High. Although not every day, my parents started fighting in front of me. They were blurting out spicy words without me knowing what the main problem was."

"How come?"

"That condition is happening more and more and more and both of them are no longer hesitant to hold back the emotions in front of me. They can fight just because of trivial problems but I know there is something more serious than that. Both are seen looking for other mistakes in order to be a trigger to justify themselves. You understand?"

"Ngga," I replied shortly.

"For example, there are couples who are not suitable and want to divorce. However, for reasons that are not strong, they look for other mistakes so that people around them understand. People will say, if he divorces his wife, his wife's work is not so bad. Never cook, never finish the house, etc. The point is not that."

"Oh yes understand. So find fault so that it can be alesan split?" much

"Yes. So do they. My father was a hard and highly disciplined man. His words were orders and could not be broken. My patient mother can run out of patience to face papa. She was uncomfortable and unhappy in her marriage. I want to back off but there's no good reason."

"How come?" This time I cut a piece of sausage.

"So does papa. He was also unable to live with his mother because he was considered unable to balance the thoughts of the more advanced papa. However, do not want to be blamed if there is a divorce. That is why, every day there is a mistake that is sought both in order to sue first and not be the wrong party.

At that time, I understood everything. I was used to being ignored at home and also started to get used to seeing their fights that were getting more frequent and more violent. If at first they quarrel with a high tone of voice, over time they make a mockery of each other. And it happened right in front of me.

If a married couple is not divorced on the grounds of a child, that's bullshit. It's nonsense if they keep behaving the same. They still fight in front of children, still present an atmosphere that is not conducive, it is more damaging than if they separate. Except, if both partners change their attitude and intend to improve.

In the end, my parents intervened because they were fed up with my parents' household drama. That's when the two got divorced."

"Wooh," I sighed slowly.

"In the beginning, each one fought over me. But after they met their new partner, my presence was considered a booster. They backpedaled and threw responsibility on me.

"How come?" I'm getting curious.

"Ma*ti went to the hospital. That's why I'm labeled as a child who likes attention. Until finally, my grandmother from my mother's side came to Indonesia and took me to Japan. Grandma was crying hysterically knowing my fate. He scolded my mother and decided to take me."

"Wooh, have you ever lived in Japan?" manywould be surprised.

"Earlier. Until I graduated high school and I returned to Indonesia when I was in college."

"Kok no one told me that Bang Win had lived in Japan?"

Bang Win chuckled, "Who are you spying on me to? I told you, if there's anything you want to know, you can ask directly."

I chuckled without answering.

"I knew I was dropping out of school. Then I opened Radio Rebel with my friends."

"When school time in Japan is really cool," I chimed in.

"But it doesn't happen here. This is Indonesia, where you will only be seen if you have a lot of money. Want you as smart as anything, ever go anywhere, if you do not show you have money, all will only see you as a regular person. Not all, but the average is."

"Teh Lena knows this story?" I don't know why I was curious and asked.

"Tau," Bang Win replied looking at me.

I nodded and understood. That's why, Tea Lena left Bang Win to me.

"I'm scared, Oxu. Afraid that I might hurt you. I fear that one day my feelings will change and I can do what my father did. In the past, I often heard stories that he loved my mother."

"It depends on the intention, ma'am" I replied shortly.

"How do you mean?"

I took a long breath. "According to Bang Win, what is marriage? Let's have a couple? Let's have children as descendants? Let's not talk about people? Or what?"

"After me, marriage is to perfect half of religion."

"Betul, if the matter is the same religion, it means that marriage is worship. For example, gini, this is an example. Bang Win fasting in Ramadan because many research results say that fasting is healthy. So his intention is to be healthy. Well, where Bang Win fell ill, Bang Win will start to doubt or doubt the results of the study. He said fasting makes healthy, this is proof it is still sick. And that makes Bang Win bliss for fasting. Why do fasting if it still hurts."

"Yes, I understand" Bang Win said.

"It is different if Bang Win fasted because of his intention of worship. Want to get sick, want to limp, want to kliyengan, Bang Win keep fasting because it is God's command. Sure that the fasting that Bang Win did will be rewarded many times. That's what makes Bang Win to continue fasting again even though it feels difficult.

Just like getting married. If the intention is to be a couple, one day bosen or not sreg, Bang Win must retreat with trivial reasons. Ah turns out to be paired with him like nothing imagined. Don't need to be doomed. Because it's not as expected, is it?

But, if the intention is worship. Although the Bang Win couple will not match expectations, Bang Win will continue to survive because they expect a reward from God. Because marriage is the longest worship and lifelong learning process. Do you know the difference?" I almost gasped for air because I said at length.

"Look, baby" she replied.

I was stunned for a moment for trying to organize my heart. "Well, strengthen the intention from now on. Don't be half-and-half," I continued.

Bang Win smiled nodding and re-shuffled my hair. After that he looked down at me to put the hoodie I was wearing.

"I love you, Oxu," he whispered softly.