Oh Arunika
Mother's Story

Arunica

A week passed after my father's departure. Mothers are more often seen daydreaming, lazy eating and no passion. Sometimes I find her crying even though she is hiding from me. I'm not really smart about that. And it would be obvious if he lied if I asked him. Or am I a very sensitive and very know how the character of the woman I love so much?

Like this afternoon. When I was done cleaning up at the back, I peeked out from behind the curtain–kain that became the boundary between the front and middle space. I found my mother crying with a stifled voice. I know that he must be the father again, not because of the television broadcast that was on.

I don't understand why my mother so much cried over my father's departure. Until the end of his life, he never gave love or warmth let alone responsibility to our family. Just leave the pain until it impregnates in the heart. I don't know if this wound will heal. There was no impression that could make me feel like I lost my father. Yeah, that's how I feel and that's in my memory.

“Bu, let's eat,” ask me to pretend not to know that he is crying. I picked up the used glass of tea that was in front of mom without intending to look her in the face. I am really starting to feel annoyed by this attitude of this mother who is still sad for the father, a man who is very inappropriate to mourn.

“Aru.” My eyes and moist mother stopped my hand. I'm speechless. Mother's attitude is not as it has been, every time he was caught crying he would immediately throw his face and hurriedly wipe his tears and show his made-up smile. This time she let me see her sadness.

I obeyed my mother's request to sit next to her, on a piece of small carpet that had faded.

I examined mom's face. The rest of the tears were still visible on her cheeks. “Bu, Aru doesn't like to see mom cry. I know that, ‘kan?” Finally my annoyance melted away just like seeing my mother's tears up close. I slowly wiped away her tears which made my chest feel tight. How could I possibly be able to see this woman I love tear up while she was the only reason I could survive in this world. “Bu, please, don't cry constantly like this,” my prayer for the umpteenth time. “Mommy can get sick later,” I said again with full application.

“Aru.” Mom held my hands together and looked at me deeply. “You know you don't like your late father. Or maybe you even hate it.” I say it in my heart. Yes, the wounds my father inflicted on our family were too sick. I don't know how many times you made me and my mom cry.

“But you know, Nak–” continued the mother again who made my daydream cut off the bad behavior of the father during his life, “ when you were born first, the happiest father welcomed you. Even to cheer up in joy.” My forehead immediately frowned to hear it. Didn't you speak wrong?

“Bapak is the one who gave your name. ARUNICA. What a beautiful name, right? As beautiful as the person.” She smiled, but it didn't make me smile either.

Mom's gaze deepened at me as well as me who unblinkingly looked at her. I try to find honesty there. It seems unlikely that he made up the story because for what reason did the mother lie like that. No one benefits.

And like I said, I know very well the character of this woman who gave birth to me. However, I also can't believe that you used to be. That's impossible!

“Mom can understand that you don't believe what I just said. But I'm telling you the truth, son. Your father loved you so much when you were little. All your needs are always fulfilled, no matter how heavy the work.”

Father loves me?

A lazy father wants to work?

I laughed in my heart imagining it. I who have been this big have never felt what a father's affection feels like. And all I knew was that until the end of my life, I never once saw him work. Never once have I seen my father bring money home. Never once did I feel the results of his efforts. There are even fathers who take forcibly mother's money, the result of working at someone else's house and also take my salary. That's reality.

Again, I want to laugh as hard as I can at this mother's story.

“Have you ever noticed your father's foot?” My daydream stopped with my mother's question.

Mom smiled and took a breath. His eyes were now looking in any direction and looking far away. “Your father's leg was broken by jumping several steps to help you who at that time fell from the stairs.” I was silent. Did ya? “You were both hurt, but your father was the worst. You were about two years old.

Your father insisted on not being treated in the hospital. He prefers to go to a broken shaman. Though at that time it cost more than enough to treat both of you in the hospital. Said father let there be a guard for you and our living costs as long as you can not work.”

Did you really have that kind of love in the past? I don't remember that incident at all.

I looked at the face of the mother whose eyes were now dewy again. While I was still stuck in place with my mouth locked tightly. My conscience wants to believe because there's no way my mother would tell such a lie. But the wounds inflicted by the father were too deep to be difficult to treat, even though the mother had told me the kindness of the father in the past.

“But why do you always say he hates me, Mom? Why, Bu?” I asked with urgency after some time reflecting on everything the mother said.

All this time I always asked that question, but my mother denied and always gave the answer that my father did not hate me. You just don't know how to express your affection. And I know it's just a lie. Many people cannot express their affection in words, but they show it by deeds. While dad?

Mother's talk sounded again made me inflamed made it. “Already, Mom. We do not need to discuss the father anymore,”, I said firmly. “Aru doesn't like to see Mom cry like this, let alone cry because dad.” I wiped away the tears of the mother who had courageously appeared on the cheeks that were beginning to wrinkle.

“Mother will answer your question honestly.” Suddenly, my mother abandoned my intention to stand up.

“Already, Mom. We no longer need to talk about it.”

Seeing the bead of the mother's eyes laden with requests forced me to stop going. I took a breath to dampen my dislike for father. Like I always did. “Alright, Mom,” I said after calming my heart. “Aru will listen to it. But I have to promise, this is the last thing we talk about. Tomorrow Mother don't cry for you again.”

Mom smiled weakly and slowly nodded.

“After the incident the father decided to move from the rented house. Fear of similar events befalling you again.” It turns out that mom continued her story.

“Some time after we moved into a new rented house, your father's nature and attitude began to change. Wake up who often misfortune, not necessarily work, go home more often late at night and irritability unclear.” Mom lowered. I know he is trying to hold back his tears.

“Your father's changes are getting more and more out of control. Your loving, patient and hardworking father turned into the one you've seen all along. Your father went too far until Mother also did not know him anymore.” Sometimes the mother wipes the tears that eventually shed as well. This time I will encourage my heart to see my mother cry. Letting him let out all the jams that were squeezing his chest.

“Until one night, the father came home with an unpleasant aroma from his body. I think I was drinking alcohol at the time. She argued over Mom as she always did. And... and that night the father said that he did not want a daughter.” I was immediately confused. Didn't you tell me at the beginning that you were very happy with my birth?

“Your father said daughter will not be able to scent the name of her parents, because in the end will only stay at home taking care of the household.”

I was both angry and disappointed. What kind of reason is that!