Virgin Widow
Epsrr.6

The clothes and some hijabs had gone into a big bag, the dry cakes I had deliberately made Mother had been stored in a bag of crackles. Today we are going to Padang leaving Abak and Mother for the first time. I will follow Zaid to the city because he can't be out of his office any longer.

Mother's face was clouded from night, while Abak tried to pack grief with the newlyweds' wills that sounded out in the ears. All the luggage had entered the metallic white CRV car that was already parked at the gate.

Mom was unable to stem the intense sadness, her hands kissed and she shed tears in my arms.

“Be a good servant if you want to be well served by your husband,” whispered Mother behind the maroon hijab that I deliberately wear to be compatible with Zaid's coloured cocoa.

Abak mastered sadness, alternately I and Zaid hugged him. The roar of the car engine and the wave of the hand became a tearful parting moment. I sat next to Zaid who remained focused on driving, a few times our car nodded as his tires stepped on the holes and rocks. There was not the slightest sound coming out because we were busy neutralizing each other's feelings.

Over half an hour of travel I remained mute and several times wiped away the tears that flowed involuntarily.

“We pass Padang Panjang only yes, Sah.” I just nodded in agreement.

Zaid did not want to rush to the house, he wanted to take me for a walk to enjoy our courtship which had just begun.

Mountain air accompanied by wind exposure entered through the glass of the car that was half open, the cold crept up to the bone which resulted in my body shivering a little. Zaid immediately closed the glass and turned on the heater so that the temperature in the car returned to normal.

We passed the bend and steep roads until we finally stopped in the Anai Valley area. A very exotic tourist destination of Sumbar, water spilled from a height of approximately eighty meters slammed into the rocks that form the dam.

Mini rainbows are formed when the waterfall bias is forged rays of sunlight that bursts between the hills. Zaid took me down and told me to wear a jacket, afraid that I would freeze due to the cold air and water around the tourist attraction. Zaid held hands and helped me climb a level that was deliberately made to go to a beautiful spot to take pictures. Dew soaked our faces and bodies that stood about five meters from the waterfall spill, several times I guessed with a hijab that was also wet.

Cold again running my body that began to docked to Zaid's body, unfortunately he did not care and seemed indifferent to me. He moved himself close to the outpouring of water that hit the rocks. Several times his gawawai used for selfies without me as the object of his photo, just him and the waterfall.

My feelings became uncomfortable and I felt uncomfortable in this cold place, the ice went to run the increasingly miserable heart. I left Zaid, who was still busy directing his camera to a spot he considered good.

The mothers of boiled peanut vendors offer their merchandise that still reflects smoke. Actually I was eager to buy a snack to accompany me and Zaid looked at the frothy water, unfortunately my wallet was left in the car, while Zaid was a bit far from where I was standing. I want to call and ask but I stop doing it because Zaid's attitude makes my snacking lust disappear from circulation.

Some small shops selling souvenirs typical of the waterfall neatly arranged along the tourist area. I try to arrange a depressed heart by stepping foot while enjoying the air that is not as cold as being on the edge of the waterfall.

Some monkeys sit on the side of the road waiting to be fed or just look at their wet fur. I really enjoyed the incredible natural scenery, until I was surprised by the sound of Zaid calling my name. I turned towards Zaid who was a little hasty, in his left hand was a white crackle filled with boiled beans. My smile expanded, not because Zaid was looking for me, but because he was carrying my favorite boiled beans.

“Why do you stay with me?”

“It's not you who left me. Obviously I'm cold you're avoiding me and walking alone, forgetting to take a wife or even be embarrassed?” My mouth slips out spilling annoyance.

Zaid just smiled and apologized, his subconscious made him avoid because he forgot that I was his wife. Strange, almost fifteen days together can not forget his own wife, perhaps the main cause is because since marriage we have never touched. The wedding processions traditionally drain time and energy, not to mention I have monthly guests so that Zaid has not had time to come to me in the best condition.

“Nyet, you want boiled beans?” Zaid left me in a shady mind without feeling guilty, instead he approached and gave the monkey who had been searching for his son's flea a handful of boiled nuts.

Annoyed and angry at seeing Zaid's indifferent behavior, it turns out that he deliberately bought boiled peanuts for monkeys, not for me. I'd better wait in the car, let him be more free with the monkey, I said in my heart.

The time of dhuha is almost past, rather than thinking of Zaid I would rather pray dhuha some rakaat. My eyes were fixed on a small musala on the side of the road that is still an area of Anai Valley tourist attraction. The place is pretty clean, the water is as cold as ice. Freshness penetrates through the head to the soul, there is a calmness after ablution.

My feet stepped in, and it turned out that Zaid had already prayed. Why didn't he remind me? Has he not become my priest and responsible for my afterlife? Afraid of abortive ablution I immediately performed the four rakaat dhuha prayer.

I was surprised when Zaid's last greeting was by my side with a friendly gaze and stretched out his hand, I immediately grabbed it and kissed the wisdom. Not long after the back of his hand touched my nose, he pulled it roughly and threw his face away from me.

Zaid left me alone again, I quickly folded and I put the face I used. I'm trying to catch Zaid's elongated, fast pace.

Could Zaid leave me? Crazy questions again messed up my emotions that were increasingly spread because of Zaid's attitude that I began not to like.

We continued our journey in silence, not a word was spoken even though there were many things I wanted to say, I felt Zaid was not good to me.

Shouldn't a husband be a protector and always try to make his wife happy? Instead of hurting him, a clear drop flowed from the corner of my eye.

“Well, are you sad to miss Mom and Abak?” Zaid wiped away my tears with his left hand, while his right hand remained on the steering wheel. I'm so confused by Zaid's attitude, sometimes romantic and sometimes annoying.

Maybe this is the first lesson I should know as a wife, which is to be patient and sincere. Means I'm in the first three months of marriage, which the test guy says is beautiful, but how am I different?

Crossing the By Pass road to the Aia Pacah Perumnas area slightly made my eyes sleepy, the straight and flat road after the fly over to Minangkabau Airport at least made me like in a swing, because the car we were driving drove by without a nod. Several times my head was nosed forward and side due to falling asleep, fortunately I used a seat belt so that the impact did not reach the dashboard or car glass.

The house that Zaid bought was type three six, but I am grateful that we have occupied our own house. The wall paint is violet and there is a flower garden as well as some large trees growing on the side. There is no iron fence but bonsai trees arranged into a partition of the yard of the house that we will occupy with the neighboring house.

“Welcome to our home, Bidadiku.” Zaid expanded his hand and allowed me to sit like a hotel guest.

“Assalammualaikum.”

“Waalaikumsalam, may my Bidadiku be at home and comfortable in our love palace.” Zaid blinked one eye.

“Apaan anyway.” My red mukaku was treated wonderfully by Zaid.

At three o'clock past forty-five minutes, the azan reverberated from the toa musala at the end of the housing, meaning we reached Padang before Ashar. Zaid permission to pray for worshipers all want to find food for later tonight, because there is nothing that can be cooked even though the cooking equipment is complete in the kitchen.

After the Ashar prayer, I remained in the living room because Zaid had not told us where our room was. Because exhaustion after a long journey caused me great drowsiness, I fell asleep on the guest sofa, until the azan magrib woke me up. But until now Zaid has not come home either.

Keroncong chanting flowed shahdu from the stomach that began to feel bloated, because indeed from noon there was nothing heavy to enter to process the intestine. Ba’da isya Zaid again brought two packs of rice paddocks are still warm

“This rice kapau Tek Mar loh, Sah, gulai tujang is famous in this perumnas.”

Quickly I'll get the dishes and the hand wash. Good thing Zaid remembered to buy mineral water, if he did not want to drink what we were after eating, while I had not boiled the water because of sleep.

We sat facing each other, Zaid seemed to be enjoying his dinner and asked me to eat with him immediately.

“Come to eat, later the rice is cold.” Then he apologized for coming home late, he said he had met friends of the congregation who were holding a meeting of the village MTQ level, so it's impossible to go home early because he's in a stewardship structure.

Finish eating further wash dishes and clean the table. I remembered that I had not been able to clean the clothes brought. A cup of hot tea I made a special for my beloved husband who was sitting sweetly in front of the television.

“Da, which room are we?” In this house there are two rooms, but I don't know which one is our room because Zaid hasn't given me the key and showed it.

Zaid gasped to hear my question about the room and tried to calm down, then handed me two keys.

“His room is on the right.” Zaid looked strange after giving up the key, he was trembling and misbehaving. I'll just ask for the key and show you our room.

“Well, tonight you sleep alone yes, I sleep in the guest room only. Tired,” that's just the message, then passed and lost swallowed by the closed guest room door.

What was this first night like, not impressive but astonishing. Never once crossed my mind would sleep alone in the bridal room without a husband. To my knowledge every newlywed couple must sleep in the same room, not even separate rooms. Why would Zaid, what am I wrong?

Well, maybe Zaid is tired or as shy as I am, so he doesn't dare to room with me. The two of us had never slept in a room after becoming a couple. Actually I myself was also still awkward to be near Zaid, especially to sleep together in one bed even though the man was my own husband.

Click, the door to my room opened, the smell of roses entering the respiratory cavity. A big bag of clothes I put on the floor. I was very confused by the situation I was going through at this time, so it made me lazy to move all the luggage into a large closet next to the bed.

My steps were not directed, for a moment my eyes were glued to see the wedding mattress filled with red rose petals that were still fresh and fragrant.

Ah, if only Zaid was here with me. Thousands of beautiful thoughts hovering in the head. Until the stupid question teased me and brought me back to the nelangsa.

Why would Zaid not be with me? Maybe Zaid married me for being coerced by his parents? Or because I'm not as attractive as the women out there who are hijabless and full of polish.

I'm just a country lady with a simple appearance without makeup and perfume fragrance. For a moment I noticed the shadows of the face and the whole body reflected by the large glass cupboard right next to the bed. Not too bad, at least I can balance Zaid's good looks even if only my face is visible. Or does Zaid not like women?

Nauzubillahs. Astaghfirullahalazim, why can I be so bad thinking to my own husband? It is unlikely that Zaid suffered from any disorder or was of LGBT origin.

Zaid came from a good family, understanding, and full of love, he was surrounded by pious people, even everyday Zaid was very Islamic. That's what I've seen since we got married. Maybe Zaid was tired and did not want to ruin the atmosphere of the first night because the energy was less extra so that later the first goal could not be created so that his pride fell in front of me.

Indeed, a few days before the wedding he often went back and forth Padang-Sijunjung, traveling hundreds of kilos of roads with heavy terrain, so naturally he was tired or maybe pity to see me who was also exhausted so he wanted me to rest alone to make it more comfortable. My head was dizzy analyzing all the suggestions until I finally fell asleep in a question without answer. It turns out tonight wasn't for me.