Virgin Widow
Eps. 15

“Well, you must be disappointed, for three months you never received the inner right as wife.” Zaid looked at me very softly, the feeling was present again which made my chest flutter no muddle.

“Actually there are things I want to say when we just got married and moved house, but I don't dare because I'm so afraid of losing you. By Allah I love you, Sah, nothing else.” Zaid squeezed my fingers warm to make me forget there were some questions I had to ask.

“Well, honestly, I have not dared to convey all that directly.” I looked for answers in her eyes that could not look at me.

“Actually this morning I intend to tell you everything. Unfortunately the fear gave up my courage, which resulted in my body being extremely weak.

“Well, all night I did not sleep, trying to find a way and keep thinking how to convey all this. Until I finally got the idea, if I can't tell you directly, then I prepared another way to tell you, and in fact I can't afford to be frank.” Zaid's eyes are glazed, just like mine.

Remembering the envelope I had accidentally put in the bag, lest the contents of the pink envelope was what he meant. Kurogoh bag with left hand, because my right hand is still held.

Looking at the envelope Zaid nodded. Slowly she let go of my hand and signaled for me to open and read the letter.

“To my surgaku angel, Hafsah.

I'm sorry if I haven't been able to be a good husband, I'm sorry that I haven't been able to fulfill my duties. All this is not because I deliberately tortured, like what you once said.

By Allah, I love you for His sake. It's not that I'm incapable, it's just that I'm so afraid of being around women, that fear sometimes makes me forget that you're halal to me.

Legally, there are some photos that I will explain to you, sorry if the photo makes you angry or maybe hate me. I just wanted to tell you everything about me through that photo. Please do not be prejudiced against me.

Well, during my time in London, I was the caretaker of the Muslim Student Association. One of its goals is to defend the religion of Allah, safeguard and help fellow Muslims in the world.

As Israel pounded the Palestinians, our blood boiled, anger mounted. When all the television broadcasts showed Palestinian children and women being victims of the atrocities of the Jewish army, I joined Gaza as a volunteer. Our intention is to go to Palestine for jihad and help the Muslim brothers there.

Almost five months I and other volunteers lived in volunteer camps for Palestine. One day, I was caught on the Gaza border. As my identification fell, four Israeli female soldiers locked me in an empty warehouse, which was almost knocked down by their air raids, stuffy and dusty. I thought they were going to kill me right then and there, but they didn't.

They found out that I was Eastern and volunteered, one of them found my ID scattered. With language I didn't understand, they laughed and coded each other. They didn't kill me right away, they just wanted me to be tortured and become a slave to fulfill his animal desires.

I asked God to take my life away from me right then and there, rather than seeing and doing such a disgusting thing. They kept forcing me to open my eyes and obey their animal-like desires. I remained silent with my eyes closed, no matter what they did to me.

Their patience is finally gone. They tortured me by hitting, kicking, and injecting something into my body. The injection made me forget myself like a possessed person and could not hold my orgasm.

I almost served their depraved passions under the influence of the curse liquid. I didn't know I'd be going through this life if it all happened. That's when God sent his help.

Thank God, some Palestinian children saw me caught, and they tried to follow where I was taken. They are valiant little angels.

They threw stones with catapults at the naked Israeli soldiers. I was saved by God through the small, holy hands of adultery.

Still in an uncontrolled state, the children tied me to a rope. Arriving at the camp, Ibu Syadiah gave me a high dose of sedative medicine to pass out, because that was the only way I could keep quiet.

That's why I didn't dare touch you all this time. I'm afraid I can't control my sexual emotions for you.

Legally, I don't want to snatch you, I just want to pluck you. So for these three months I tried and prayed to be able to recover from the dependence of sedatives. That's what keeps me locked up in my room all day.

I love you because of God, I will never divorce you, because you are my paradise.

Whatever happens, accept me for who I am. Because I will never make you a virgin widow.

I'm sorry, Bidadiku ....

My body trembled, I cried as I pleased. Zaid slowly sat down and embraced my shoulder, he hugged me for the first time. Sweeping and happily wetting his chest, Zaid further tightened his embrace.

“Well, by Allah, I will not make you a virgin widow, for you are the greatest gift of my life.”