Butterfly Night But Virgin
330. Reason
Lana seems very surprised to get a sudden proposal from Neil. Really, Lana never thought that the man she had helped would propose to her. They were only about a month together when Lana helped Neil. After that, they split up a long time ago and just met again tonight.
Neil smiled foolishly looking at the surprised expression on the face of the girl he loved. The girl he loved because of his sincerity.
"I'm sorry if it surprised you. Maybe I was too hasty and didn't see the situation. I even proposed to you in the car and without any preparation. Not romantic at all, is it?"neil said, little chuckling.
Neil laughed at himself, for without any preparation he proposed to Lana. The desire just flashed and was immediately expressed by Neil. Forgetting how a man should propose to a woman. Neil was too happy to meet Lana. Especially when she heard that Lana's fiancee was dead.
Not SMS, aka Happy to See others Difficult and Difficult to See others Happy. It's just that, naturally not, if someone feels happy when they have the opportunity to pursue and have loved ones? And that's how Neil feels right now.
Neil did not want to waste the opportunity that came this time. Don't want to make small talk. Neil also did not want his feelings hanging by waiting for the person he loved without certainty. Like an author who likes to hang readers.
Better sat set straight lamar. If accepted, thank God. Even if rejected, yes, at least not too long to expect the uncertain which leads to further hurt the heart. You can move on and find a replacement. Shouldn't it be?
"Neill.."Lana did not continue her words. The girl still couldn't put together the right words to talk to Neil.
"I know, this must be too sudden for you and make you surprised. But I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm a grown man. I don't want to date like a young man. I also know that our age is different. But, I really sincerely love you. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. And my feelings of love grew even more with the sincerity of your heart taking care of me. But, I harbored my feelings and stayed away from you, because you had loved and loved someone else. But now you don't have the person you love, do you? Let me fill your empty heart. Let me make you happy. I'm really serious about you and want to marry you. Spending the rest of my life with you" Neil said with a serious look at Lana full of earnestness.
Lana is shocked to hear Neil's love statement. Lana did not expect, if the man she had helped loved himself with a relatively short time together they had been through.
"Neil, you don't know me very well yet" Lana looked at Neil looking at her lovingly.
"I already know you. Very familiar to you when you and your mother helped me and kept me in your house, "that Neil still holds Lana's fingers warmly.
"That was it, Neil. I haven't lived in this city. I'm not the Lana you used to know. The present me is not worthy of standing with anyone, including you. I'm just a despicable woman. My body is dirty" said Lana bowed sadly. Grain by grain the clear crystal fell from his eye pellets and soaked his cheeks.
Lana feels dirty because she has slept with many men. A man who enjoys his body for the sake of satisfaction. Without love. Lana never wanted that to happen to her. But, in fact, destiny says something else.
Lana was forced to serve the striped-nose men because she threatened my father. Her father would torture her mother if Lana did not obey her father's orders.
When the first time Lana will be sold by her father, she continued, Ibu Lana immediately blocked my intention, continued Lana. Not allowing the man to take Lana. But Lana's mother ended up in a whip and in a lock in a barn for a day and a night without being fed and drunk. Therefore, Lana no longer dared to go against the orders of her father.
But after her mother dies, Lana looks for a way to escape. Because there is no longer a mother that can be made father she continued to threaten him. Even if caught by her father, she continued, Lana would rather die than be used as a tool to satisfy the lust of the striped men.
Neil held onto Lana's chin with his index finger and thumb. The man wiped away the tears of the woman he loved.
"I'm not a holy man either. I have also slept with many women. Just to meet my biological needs. So, if you feel contemptible and dirty because you've slept with a lot of men, then I'm more despicable and dirty than you are" Neil said staring fixedly at Lana's bead eyes.
"But.. I'm .."Lana hangs her words. Confused what to say.
"No. Not because of that. I've heard from Mr. Rayyan and his assistant, that you won't act on a righteous and good person. You only act on bad people. To me, you are not a bad person. You are a good man. You establish the truth in your own way" Lana answered honestly.
"If you think like that, then accept my love and proposal" insisted Neil who really wanted to get married and spend the rest of his life with Lana.
"Neil, to be honest, even though my fiancee is dead, I still love her very much. L'm.. I can't forget him. If I accept you.. L'm.. I'm afraid I can't make you happy. Because in my heart I love other people" Lana said, expressing her true reason.
The girl fell in. Feeling very flattered because there is a man who seems sincere to love him. But, Lana reluctantly accepts Neil's love, for fear of upsetting and hurting Neil.
Because, until now Lana still loves her deceased fiance. At least Lana can not forget the beautiful memories she once spent with her fiance.
"It's okay. You don't have to forget him. You can still love him in your heart. I won't ask you to let alone force you to forget him. Nor will I ask, let alone force you to love me. But, please give me a little space in your heart. Just little. I will give you all my love. I will try to make you happy. Marry me, "please ask Neil expectantly. The man clasped Lana's hands warmly and lovingly.
Lana looked at Neil full of haru. Didn't expect that man would say such a thing. From within Neil's gaze, Nala could see the sincerity of the man's heart. Neil asks her to marry him without asking himself to forget the person he loves. Just asking for a little space in his heart. It's not easy for someone.
"Are you sure you want to marry me? What if I can't love you? You will not be happy if you live with someone who does not love you. Aren't you afraid, if your heart gets hurt?"lana looked into Neil's eyes.
...🌟🌟🌟...
..."Forget what you cannot have. He who has gone to the Divine will never return."...
..."Sometimes you want to fall asleep to forget and sometimes you want to forget to fall asleep."...
..."It's hard to forget someone who has given me so many wonderful memories. But, if it's the best, then let it go."...
..."Sometimes, we have to forget our desires, in order to find what we deserve."...
..."Life is about learning to accept and endure, or to go and learn to forget."...
..."Nana October 17th"...
...🌸❤️🌸...
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To be continued