Twins And Falling In Love
101. Depressed

Olivia put both her hands on her own chest, “Please, this time let me finish my words. Believe me, what I'm about to say will hurt my pride rather than your prestige.”

The man bit his lips in doubt while considering. “Alright, please talk.”

“I hope that I can live only by following my feelings, because thus I do not need to think too hard and can follow my intuition only now.” Olivia stopped to gulp her beer again before she continued her talk.

“kak~ don't do much.” The EL reminded while pulling the bottle from Olivia's hand in annoyance.

“You know what's crazy?” Olivia. “I stopped looking at you as my student for a long time, even I stopped thinking about age and I was always filled with joy whenever you were near me. If I could just follow my heart, I'm sure I'm lying in that bed with you right now, doing things that are far from ethical in my professional world.” He pointed towards the bed of EL with a faint.

The man was clearly surprised by Olivia's statement that entered into the category of outspoken, he had never seen this woman talk so honestly—even when he was drunk the other day on the beach. “Sister, be honest with me, have you been drunk?”

“No, I'm not affected by the alcohol content in the beer. I bet that tomorrow morning I would wake up and still remember everything I said, then I would immediately dunk my face into a pillow to hide my embarrassment. But I want to express how I feel, and you deserve to know this.”

EL nodded in understanding and let Olivia continue her talk.

“I'm tired, EL. I'm really tired of all this.” This time Olivia's wistful gaze had returned and EL could guess the direction of their conversation. “Even when we kiss, all I can think about is my guilt towards him—when I really enjoy the touch of your lips. And I feel like a guy who's cheating even if he's not! What I do with you is not counted cheating, if he has. if he has died.”.

The look on Olivia's face that returned moody, the two women's eyes were now glazed and EL was sure that soon Olivia would start crying.

“I'm tired of arguing with myself, thinking about whether it's appropriate for me to move on with my life happily after what he sacrificed for me. I'm sick of imagining what would happen to my life if the tragedy never existed—and at the same time I know that I'm just doing stupidity and wasting my time, because the fact is that he is dead! I'm really tired of trying to keep him alive in my memory and I want this feeling of tightness in my heart to go.” Tears began to flow down both of his cheeks.

“I want to move-on, EL. I really want to forget that! If I can be evil, that's not the point of me still alive? I know him well and I'm sure he just wants my happiness. But why do I keep feeling guilty like this, EL?” He started hugging himself, “Why do I feel like the cruelest human being if I let the memories with him die with his body.”

“kak..

“And you know the bad news? I'm fascinated by you! I was really fascinated by you in just a few months, If it doesn't make me look like a cruel woman*****, then I don't know what my crimes are equal to.” Olivia's getting sobbing. “I want you! I really wanted you until I couldn't look you in the face since we kissed! I want to have extra time with you, so I revise your work for longer so you can stay standing next to me! Even now, I sillyly use the excuse of asking for responsibility for your words, just as a medium to be able to meet you! How could I be fascinated by another man, when that man died because of me?!” Olivia covered her face with both hands, the woman began to cry loudly while tugging at her own hair. “I'M TOO CRUEL, AREN'T I?”

El can no longer remain silent. Olivia had kept all of this tightly in her own mind and today this whole thought exploded out. This woman also just admitted that she wanted El, she wanted the man just as El wanted him not just love, but wanted more.

The man placed his arm on Olivia's back, the other arm being used as a support tucked behind the woman's knee. With one smooth motion, El lifted Olivia's frail body and placed it on her lap. He clenched Olivia close to his chest, as his sturdy arms continued to gently caress the woman's back affectionately. He allowed Olivia to shed all the anxiety she was in now and the woman could only cry more and more because of the sweet treatment of this man.

Now the new EL really understands the whole attitude of Olivia who judged plan-wise. She understood why she took the trouble to keep her distance from him even when she was sure Olivia had accepted herself as a lover and enjoyed the time together. It's not that Olivia hasn't forgotten Michel, it's not that she still loves her dead fiance, but because she still felt morally indebted to the man—and Olivia let guilt dictate her happiness.

“El, I'm so mean to you now, I let you hold me like this while I cry for another man.” Said Olivia among her stuffing, “Yes God, what kind of man am I? I'm sorry El, I really don't mean to be—”

EL planted a kiss on the woman's forehead to stop her rumble. “It's okay, Brother. . You can share your burden on me today, spill it all and we can start a new sheet starting tomorrow, huh?” the man strengthened his embrace around Olivia's body.

Olivia is giving up now. He scrunched his body to find a more comfortable position, uniting each curve of his body with EL curves while looking for the comfort he needed from the man. He hid his face on EL's broad shoulders and let his tears break in the firm embrace of the man who had stolen his heart.

For Olivia, what is happening right now feels very natural. It felt like this man's embrace was all he needed and he had solidified his decision. He had composed all the words that he wanted to say to EL since he was in the pesowat like a fool—ia was ready to beg the old man el to let EL accompany him through his difficulties, he said, ready to express his feelings and forget his prestige, he is ready to ask EL to help him restart his life. He was grateful that it was not too late to ask for all this.

...🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯...