Oh My Cecunguk
Episode 48's

"I'm sorry, Ly. I can't" he said softly. With a breath of breath he pulled back his body, away from me. Then he returned to his clothes. He grabbed his belt that was lying on the floor and put it back on.

I turned my face. It's all over. He doesn't even want my body anymore. Sadness has come back to cover me. How embarrassing I am right now. It's been dumped but it still offers my body like a whore. No, I was even uglier than the butterflies that night. At least they get paid. While I give it away for free. Really cheap and have no self-respect.

"Wear your shirt, Ly," Kevin said. He sat on the edge of the bed, right next to me.

I kept turning my face and turning my back, turning my back. Now I can't even look him in the face anymore. I clasped tightly onto the thick blanket that covered my half-naked body.

"Go," drive me away without taking my eyes off the wall. Secretly my tears came back. Moisturize both cheeks. I cried without a sound.

"Bring the gifts you brought earlier, I don't need them, either" I said with a trembling mouth, holding back tears.

"I'm not going to take back anything I gave you, Ly," said Kevin.

"But I want to give it back. I don't want to see it, let alone wear it. So just take it, just give it to the others."

Like Alia for example, your wife must be excited if you bring her a gift.

"I bought it for you, Ly. If you don't want it, throw it away or burn it."

I guess the fucking tears keep flowing without excuse.

"alright. You can leave now," I said, returning to throw him out.

"Hm. I'm leaving now." My bed shook slightly as she woke up. Although I didn't see it but I could hear his footsteps moving away.

He paused for a moment. I think he's at the door. "Goodbye, Ly, take care of yourself."

I didn't answer and didn't see it at all. The next second rattled the door as it opened and thumped as the door closed again. After that, nothing sounded.

I turned my body, staring at the tightly closed door. Instantly my tears broke.

He's gone, really gone. I repeated that sentence over and over again. I still can't believe Kevin really left me. We're totally separated now.

I roared, like a madman. Sniffled. It's over our love story. The wishful thinking that I always dreamed of living happily with her, is gone already. Disappeared along with his sudden departure.

Don't ask me how I feel right now. I'm sure I'm not okay. The pain cannot be expressed in words. It hurts so much, it hurts so much that it just wants to die.

Kevin ... Why did you leave? Why leave me at a time like this? Don't you remember that I don't have anyone but you?

Father, mother, sister and also my friends, they are all gone. I threw them away because I thought I still had you. I'm counting on you, but why did you do this to me?

All night I kept crying. Until finally falling asleep at dawn.

...****************...

Three days have passed. There's not much I do. I never came out that long. Every day I just shut myself in my room.

Sometimes I play with phones that I ignore more often. I looked at some of my pictures with Kevin neatly tucked away in the cell phone gallery.

I smiled, remembering my good times with him. Then came back crying as we remembered our relationship that had ended.

My head feels dizzy and heavy. Maybe because there was no food coming into my body. I just drink water every day. I don't know, I usually go hungry every five hours. But this time, I've never been hungry. Three days without eating.

After that night, Kevin never came back. He never called me first either.

Unlike me who still contacts him often. But my call was rejected. I tried it a few times, but the result remains the same, always rejected.

Same with the message I sent. He never said it, just read it.

There were so many messages I sent him. Everything contained an outpouring of my heart that missed him so much. I repeatedly asked him to come back. I told him that I had no problem despite being his only mistress as long as he could continue with her.

However, the result remains the same. Kevin never responded to my short message. Looks like Kevin's getting fed up with my selfless behavior. Eventually, he decided to block my number.

I was still sitting on the sofa staring in any direction. I accidentally found a knife on the table. The silver-like color was glittering in my eyes.

I got up and walked a few steps closer to the small wooden table.

A stainless knife whose tip is pointed. I touch the surface with my thumb. Sharp enough to scratch my skin and bleed a speck.

After the knife was in my grasp, I walked back to the sofa.

I drop my ass back there.

My world is broken. No one wants or cares about me. Although my body is still alive but not with my soul. I didn't want to torture my body any longer, so I decided to end it today. I'm going to die too.

I slowly pointed the knife at my left wrist. I grimaced as the sharp object tore at my skin. It hurts and it hurts too. But the pain is nothing compared to the pain in the heart.

Little by little the red liquid began to pour out and fell splattered on the floor. My head got dizzy and felt swirling as the rancid smell pierced my nose. My gaze slowly began to blur and soon became pitch black. I didn't see anything, maybe this is the end of my life.

Kevin ... Now I'm gonna die. Goodbye, I love you.

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